Saturday, January 28, 2017

Human relationships are special

Most of our days are monotonous and dull as we are too busy to come out of our daily schedule. We are becoming more and more practical, career and gadget oriented day by day. Thus we are losing the liveliness inside each of us. Breaking free from the clasps of our electronic world and building meaningful relationships with our close ones in the real world is a dire necessity to get back to our peppy selves. We must feel that it’s high time to break the cage of this robotic world and instead get down to the roots and connect in person, by feeling and sharing real emotions in the real world! Here I’ll be narrating about a memorable day when I spent time with a lively lady I love- my grandmother.

I had got a fresh job after passing out of the engineering college. Right from childhood I was very close to grandma and she too left no chances to pamper me at every stage. She had high hopes on me too. So, after I procured my first salary I decided to spend it first on my beloved granny. Moreover her health was deteriorating quite fast. I did not want to lose out a lifetime opportunity of spending an entire day with her, trying few new things together and revisiting some old lanes which were close to her heart.

In her youth, grandma was a movie buff. So, I planned our itinerary such that it began with a movie. I knew her choices and unfortunately those could not be found in any cinema hall. Only option left was hiring the video CD of an old black and white hit movie which could be played inside house. Thus our program started indoor. Surprisingly granny had teeth. I arranged for popcorn and finger chips. In between movie sequences I whistled to create a flamboyant ambience for her. The fun started when she joined me too adding up to the sprightliness!

Lunch could easily be done at home but she was not a regular restaurant-eater. I wanted her to taste outside foods. The way she carried herself into a posh restaurant was unbelievable. Grandma enjoyed the food very much. My only problem started when she started bargaining against the food bill. People of elder generation believe in bargaining, be it in vegetable market or supermarket! She expressed extreme dissatisfaction towards me when I tried to hold back and manage the situation. Fortunately the manager understood the problem and overall there was no much problem.

Granny was a great animal lover. I took her to the zoo. She was almost like a kid while spotting tiger, lion, zebra, giraffe, hippo, rhino, different birds, reptiles etc. By evening we left the zoo and visited a famous temple to let her join the evening ritual. By late evening we returned home as taking food outside twice a day was not permissible at granny’s age.

That day I discovered the joy of #MagicOfWarmth after a long time. I realised that age is nothing but a state of mind and happiness is everywhere waiting for us to be picked up. Human relationships are special and we must value them. We must preserve the zippy individual in us!

I’m blogging about my #MagicOfWarmth moment at BlogAdda in association with Parachute Advansed Hot Oil

Warm Memory

Just before my granny passed away at her 89, I kissed her cheek and thanked her for all those wise words she had unconditionally showered on me. I had carried one specific odd piece of advice with me all of my life. It had been on 15th August, our Independence Day, when I was no more than ten years old, that she whispered a peculiar warning, borne of an age old anonymous wisdom, which moulded and directed my life for the next three decades. Honestly, at 89, she was far from the muse of my youth. She had used beetle leaf dye as a blusher to veil her pale face, and was quite a shock to behold when I turned the corner on her ground floor nursing home cabin. She asked with childly innocence if I could get her new make-up and white pearl jewelry set for her to wear.

With kid gloves, I asked her, "What type of pearl set?"

She replied, "Pricey, churrigueresque of course."

She lived under the misconception that she was in a seaside hotel at Puri, one that sucked on basic standards. "The foods at this hotel are terrible, but what is a person to do?"

She didn't know she was in a nursing home in the heart of Kolkata.

Now that she’d reached advanced age, death encroaching, I wanted her to know that I loved her, how her advice had molded me. As a child, I treasured ideas, and a few great thinkers like Tagore had touched my tender soul. My closest and best-loved scholar was sitting in a wheelchair, arms propped with a pillow and an alarm that would alert nurses if she pitched forward and left her chair's fixed position.

She was different the next time I saw her, the way she used to be.

"How come you don't call your Thamma more often? Humph!"

"Humph! You going to wait until I'm in the burning ghat and then you'll visit me?"

"I'm sorry that you'll be sorry, but then it'll be too late!"

This was the same salutation I had gotten from her over the years of telephone conversation. Her words always riddled me with guilt, though I never let her know. But I saw it as rather a good sign that she was still spunky. I quickly tried to change the subject. "Thamma, I remember sitting with you on the beach– just out this window – when I was about ten years old. I still remember the good advice you gave me back then."

"What advice did I give you?"

I told her, "The whole family was celebrating Dussera, happy to be together. You whispered in my ear, ‘Don't get too close to people; you'll catch their dreams.’”

"What?" she said.

I repeated, "Don't get too close to people; you'll catch their dreams."

"Oy!" she said. "I am very sorry if I ever told you that."

I reminded her of what an effect her words had on me. “Your advice stayed with me, both as a doctrine and in its poeticism.”

Her words had allowed me to remain aloof and separate from everyone, as a type of self-protection, to preserve my own dream.

She looked at me as though I were some stranger in a dream.

"I never told you that." She paused.

"Germs," she said. "I said you'll catch their germs. That’s the advice I always gave you."

That wrong notion had conquered every relationship in my life with ambivalence and a craving to be left alone. If one was alone, one was safe from what people could do to you, I had reasoned. Alas, one marriage and a dozen hiccups later, I had realised the truth of her advice too late!

I’m blogging about my #MagicOfWarmth moment at BlogAdda in association with Parachute Advansed Hot Oil